L emailed me this; he said it made him think of me immediately. If I were capable of blushing, I would have blushed from my face down to my toes.
September 2011
17 posts
“After awhile I felt jaded about the whole formal Fem Dom thing and eventually scrapped it out of frustration. Without any understanding of identity politics and the way that systemic sexism was getting in the way of my bedroom fun I had been trying to shoe-horn myself into the role that was available to me without critically looking at either myself or the construction of those roles. I stopped going to BDSM parties “as a domme.”
—magazine.goodvibes.com (http://s.tt/13feY)
“Obviously, no one sits down and makes a rational decision about who to fall in love with, but I get frustrated with the veiled condescension of straight people who believe that queers “can’t help it,” and thus should be treated with tolerance and pity. To say “I was born this way” is to apologize for the person I am and for whom I love. It’s like saying I would be different if I could. I wouldn’t.”
—Lindsay Miller (Autostraddle — On What It Means To Say You Were Born This Gay)
I like that this is “lingerie for men” rather than assuming someone wearing it is “crossdressing”. […]
omg the pictures at xdress. (bites lip)
It’s really nice looking lingerie, too.
Oh my.
ZOMG AWESOME
this picture
oh my god
It makes me really fucking sad:
- that just because I am dating a man, certain people no longer consider me to be part of the queer community.
- that even after I say “no, I still identify as queer,” that people look at me and go… “yeah, whatever, you’re bisexual.”
- when people say shit like “you missed the dick, didn’t you?”
- when people I respect and care “joke” about my sexuality.
- that it took me so long to come out, and people are just shoving me right back into this little box with labels and explanations to make themselves feel better about it.
“I’m also a feminist because I like to fuck, and I resent everything and everyone that would make that a secret shame. I fuck not to make marriages or babies but simply to fuck, and I am sick and fucking tired of the government and beer ads and my friends and fucking Cosmopolitan telling me there’s something wrong with that.”
—The Pervocracy: Full Frontal Feminism. (via sexisnottheenemy)
Rape and the way Tumblr users use that word
I don’t speak English very well and sometimes, I avoid saying what I think of because that. I’m always afraid people will misunderstand what I’m going to say and it’s going to be a wank!fest or something, but really, I would like to say something. It has to do with the way people on Tumblr use words. I’m going to be specific and talk about “rape.”
Oh, I know, no one really likes to talk about it, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people posting or reblogging a post with that word.
“I’m going to rape your askbox,” or, “Thank God I’m ugly, no one is going to rape me.”
When I see that, I just want to bang my head against the keyboard. People, are you serious?
When you use this word to say stupid things like that (for the record, just because you are ugly does not mean you’ll never be raped), what you are doing is so insensitive. Come on.
Sure, there will always be people who will see this and say: “Relax, chill, whatever, you’re taking things too seriously.” But I have to say, have you ever been raped?
If it has happened to you, then you know. You know the word “rape” is important. Why? Because it’s the only word that can explain what happened to you.
In case you don’t know, people who are raped usually blame themselves. They think, “It’s my fault,” and they have a very hard time saying, “I’ve been raped,” because they don’t want to acknowledge that something so awful actually happened to them. So when people use the word out of context, or when they name their blog “rapemecelebrityilike”, they’re doing a huge disservice to the people who have actually been raped. Words are important. When you use “rape” to mean something it doesn’t mean, it’s not a joke. It’s not funny. You’re stealing something very important from us.
People who survived rape need this word. They need it because otherwise nothing they experienced makes sense.
It’s tragic when you can’t find words to explain what happened to you.
So really, I beg you, think of the survivors. Think of the people who can’t say the word without wanting to cry.
Please. Be considerate.
“Now, when people think “chivalry,” they think of men opening doors for women, throwing their jackets over puddles, and paying for dinners. All admittedly nice things, save the jacket throwing—that just seems nuts, given the price of outerwear these days. But this is how they get you. Doing things like opening doors for people is polite. I would hope one would do as much for anyone if they got to the door first. Chivalry is something completely different.
There’s a difference between being chivalrous and being nice or polite. Opening a door for someone because you got to the door first is both nice and polite; making a huge production of opening a door for a woman in the hopes that she’ll see what a chivalrous dude you are and fuck you (and then getting all pissy when she doesn’t respond how you want her to) is not polite or nice. And that’s the thing with chivalry: It always demands something in return. If you’re being nice to me because you like me and you’re the kind of person who is nice to people you like, then that’s great. If you’re being nice to me because you’re hoping to get something out of it, or if you think you’re entitled to sex or a relationship with me because you were nice and “chivalrous,” you can go fuck yourself. See how that works?” —Jessica Valenti, He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know (via angrywomenoftumblr)
There’s a difference between being chivalrous and being nice or polite. Opening a door for someone because you got to the door first is both nice and polite; making a huge production of opening a door for a woman in the hopes that she’ll see what a chivalrous dude you are and fuck you (and then getting all pissy when she doesn’t respond how you want her to) is not polite or nice. And that’s the thing with chivalry: It always demands something in return. If you’re being nice to me because you like me and you’re the kind of person who is nice to people you like, then that’s great. If you’re being nice to me because you’re hoping to get something out of it, or if you think you’re entitled to sex or a relationship with me because you were nice and “chivalrous,” you can go fuck yourself. See how that works?” —Jessica Valenti, He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know (via angrywomenoftumblr)
August 2011
39 posts
“One of the most common biphobic narratives is that the penis is what counts. A woman who has sex with men is really straight, even if she also fucks women; a man who has sex with men is really gay, even if he also fucks women. If a man fucks a man, even once, he is forever corrupted from the heights of heterosexual masculinity.”
—Bisexual Men, Like, Exist And Stuff | No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz? (via sexisnottheenemy)